A Quick Confidence Trick – Change Your Thinking
You know, I’ve heard this phrase from men time and time again…
“Meeting women is scary!”
Can you believe there are guys out there who would rather sign up to be shipped off to fight a war rather than try to meet a girl they’re attracted to?
Ten years ago when I first got into this business, a student of mine, depressed about the fact that he was lonely and too afraid to meet any women, said he was going to join the all because he feels he can handle the fear of death better than the fear of rejection.
Now THAT’S scary.
Personally, I’d rather face a beautiful goddess with long legs than a smelly terrorist with a bomb strapped to him any day of the week.
But when this happened – this was what got me into my advanced attitude techniques that I now teach. When I started to think about why my friend would do such a thing, I asked myself:
“Why would anyone be more afraid of women than they would be of death?”
What I believe is: To Some Of Us, Good Feelings Are Scarier Than Bad Feelings.
A classic case of “fear of success”.
Let me explain…
We learn to respond a certain way to certain stuff. The more we respond to that stuff the more comfortable we become with that response.
Human beings tend to move to what is familiar to us, even if what’s familiar is NEGATIVE.
So – it doesn’t take a genius to figure that if we train ourselves to respond negatively and feel negative emotions, when we feel good emotions, we become scared and find a way to retreat back to the bad emotions. Sounds crazy, but it’s true - because they feel more familiar.
As and example: let’s say you don’t think you’re a very attractive man, and you’ve come to believe that women won’t like you because you’re too bald, or short, or fat, or skinny, or whatever.
So you spend day after day, hour after hour, obsessing about what you think makes you ugly.
Thoughts run through your head like:
“My ears are too big. I look like Dumbo! No one could find that attractive.”
“I’m too small! Women only like big guys! I’m screwed.”
“I don’t have enough hair. Only the guys with hair get girls. I’d never be able to attract anyone.” (by the way – I started losing my hair at 22. I shave it now – and I do just fine….)
“I’m too fat! Women only like guys with big muscles! I might as well not even try.”
Maybe that sounds familiar – at the very least you can identify with something similar.
When we think thoughts like these, we are creating feelings of shame and self-pity.
We make ourselves out to be victims, as if we have no control over our lives.
And, as my theory goes - WE GET USED TO FEELING THAT WAY.
So when women express interest in us, we miss their signals because we don’t believe they could find us attractive in the first place – or we think they are “up to something”.
When we train ourselves negatively – then we get compliments, we feel the person complimenting us is lying or being insincere.
Then we have an opportunity to have a great experience with a woman, but we let it pass by because we believe it will end badly.
What it comes down to is: We become so comfortable with our bad feelings, when we have the opportunity to experience GOOD feelings, we get scared and make ourselves feel bad again.
It’s the nuts and bolts of the approach anxiety mind-f*ck we have all been through.
It’s a vicious cycle.
So any possibility to have a good experience or good feelings creates a lot of fear in us.
To me - that’s why so many guys are so afraid to approach women.
They’ve done such a good job at training themselves to be losers, that they become too afraid of success.
These kinds of men aren’t even aware this is going on. Just like Beta guys who don’t realize their own beta behaviors.
But here’s one little trick of many I’ve picked up and developed over the years that can help you to retrain yourself to be a winner. It’s something so simple and easy to do, but most importantly – like all of my material, it works.
Ready for it?
I want you to
Learn To Rewrite Your Thoughts By Replacing “Can’t” With “Won’t”!
Stick with me here - this is a BIG weapon in fighting fear.
The next time you see a beautiful woman and you think:
“I can’t get her. She’s out of my league.”
“I can’t attract her, I’m too ugly.”
“I can’t talk to her, she’ll reject me.”
Rewrite your thoughts to say what you REALLY mean:
“I won’t get her. I don’t believe in myself.”
“I won’t attract her, I’m too insecure.”
“I won’t talk to her, I’d rather take myself out of the game than take a chance.”
Can you dig it? When you replace the word “Can’t” with “Won’t,” what you’re really doing is realizing that you aren’t helpless, that you’re making a conscious decision to think and feel negatively.
And when you have a choice, which would you rather choose: Feeling bad, or feeling good?
If you choose to feel bad, know that it’s not really “fear of rejection” or how you feel you look that’s out of your control that’s holding you back.
You’re making the decision to feel that way.
Making the decision to feel good can be hard, especially if we’re uncomfortable doing so.
But it can be done. I retrained myself literally inside of about 10 days – and I was unstoppable ever since.
In my book, The Dating Attitude, I go into great detail on how to retrain yourself for success and good feelings, and how to break the habits of being a loser who likes to wallow in shame and self-pity.
Talk to me some time - I will show you step-by-step methods on how to boost your confidence to incredible levels, how to meet any woman you want without fear of rejection, and how to enjoy success.
If you haven’t gotten my book, The Dating Attitude yet, then click below to do so now:
The time to get this aspect of yourself under control is right now. Otherwise, you might want to think about tracking down your local army recruiter.
And if you REALLY want to supercharge your success with women, be sure to take a look at my
Advanced Courses here:
Til Next Time –
Live the Lifestyle.