Are You Too Impressed With Her looks?

by | May 1, 2015 | JDs Dating Tips |

Does her Beauty Make You Stupid?

One of my students was telling me over the phone last week about several women he is dating/interested in.

It seemed that he had at least 2 women who he didn’t really feel 100% attracted to, but he was still kinda hanging out with them anyway.

And he said these 2 women were really into him.
There is this other woman, who he has been out with twice, that he is really really attracted to – especially in the physical sense.

He said she is so beautiful, that he often feels like he has to impress her.

And then, he ends up talking way too much and saying a bunch of stupid things and generally being nervous when he’s around her.

And he has no idea where he stands with her.

He called to ask me how he can find out – like, should he ask her, “So – do you like me?”

So – raise your hand if you can relate to this.

Ok. Everybody.

What is going on here?

First off – just let me say that you should never, ever ask her if she likes you. If you don’t know, then you’re doing something wrong.

And my student knows for a fact that those other two women are nuts about him – and he never asked them. He can just tell.

If you haven’t seen it already – those “other two” women are so attracted and interested in him because he basically feels really relaxed around them, and is NOT trying to impress them.

The fact that he can take it or leave it shows in everything he says and does when he’s out with them.

So why can’t he just be that way around that super-beauty?
You know – I really think that beauty makes men stupid sometimes.

Maybe it’s the fault of magazines like Playboy – who glamorize the female form and make them seem so unattainable.

It is a fact, as well, that humans tend to associate lots of positive traits to beautiful people. The handsome guy in the suit looks like a smart, alpha-type boss.

The guy with the chiseled jaw line, white teeth and perfect hair looks like he can play golf if you hand him a golf club, or tennis if you hand him a tennis racket.

And so on.

We tend to think really pretty women are “better” than us in some way as well.

And that’s the biggest mistake men make.

As my student said – he feels like HE has to impress HER.
And she instantly knows that he is attracted to her, and she can have him. If SHE wants him.

He has gone from being the buy to being the seller.
And if we assume the women (the buyer) has plenty of men (product options) to choose from, we instantly start to over-sell and prop up ourselves (our brand) and try to convince her to buy.

And all this does is make us come off as needy and insecure.
When we are aloof and not as desperate, we are immediately more attractive. Hence those “other women” who are very interested.

So you may be thinking – okay, great. I know what I SHOULD do, but why do I get so nervous around pretty girls, or assume they aren’t going to like me?

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Everything – and I mean Everything – has to do with your mindset.

And everything I teach in my Alpha Series of audio books and training is geared toward quickly changing how you think and react around women and in almost any situation.

And I’ll give you a little insight right here and now.
Ask yourself: Have you ever noticed on any given day that you are out and about – no matter where you go, you see lots of attractive women?

At the gas pump, at the store, at work, in the parking lot, you name it. You see women every day who you think to yourself, “Oh, man – I would totally hit that!”

You want to know something?

You see so many beautiful women for 2 reasons. And they are these:

  1. As a man, your instinct is to be visually stimulated and aware of pretty women.
  2. Pretty women are a very COMMON THING

And number 2 is the big point.

Why do we get so overwhelmed by something so common?
If you are sitting there with this beauty – you could literally get up, walk out, and you are likely to see dozens of other beauties EVERYWHERE.

And they are everywhere.

They are very common.

So back to our friend, the student who called me.
He is a little bit older, and he is looking for a long-term relationship.

So I asked him, what are you looking for in a woman?
And like most of us, the first thing he said was, “I have to be physically attracted to her.”

Hey, of course.

We all want an attractive mate.
But then he listed about 8 or 9 other traits that he likes in women.


So – while you are sitting there with this attractive woman, why are you so impressed with someone who has just ONE of the qualifications you are looking for?

Because if the hottest girl in the world was a psycho-killer who chops up her boyfriends, would you date her?
Okay – that’s a little extreme – but you get the point.
She’s pretty.


She has done nothing except appear before you with what the Good Lord gave her.

Why are you not in BUYER mode here?

My student was looking for more than beauty – but was so flustered by her beauty, he seemed to forget all about those things like sense of humor, intelligence, independence, education, etc.

So basically – she gets a free pass.

She doesn’t ever HAVE TO impress him.

And man after man does this with her. So she’s used to it. And that’s why we start to feel like we have to impress her with our brand.

But imagine if you will if YOU come along and you are not that impressed with just her looks.

What if you let her know that yes, she is pretty – but pretty women are very common. And what’s uncommon is a great sense of humor.

Or whatever else it is you are looking for.

In fact, I like to say that exact thing – “Sure – you are very pretty. Don’t you think there’s lots of pretty women? You know what I like is an intelligent women who can make me laugh.”


I’m the buyer.

I’m different than the last 20 guys who went out with her.
And she doesn’t get a pass.

Now – of course it goes a lot deeper than that – and there are 100 little things you need to know and learn. But you should already have the general idea of what the “problem” is and how to solve it.

And ask yourself – should I be impressed with her beauty?
Hell – that’s just an instinct. I can’t control that. So it is what it is.

Of course for more – much more – on the mindset of the Alpha Male and how to transform your life and your love life – you must absolutely get a hold of my audio books and training now. Everything Is Here.

All instant download MP3s – listen and learn today.
All the best