Great First Date Idea – Works Every Time

by | Nov 7, 2015 | JDs Dating Tips, Sex and Dating |

Pull off a Great First “Date”

Is there anything worse than exchanging phone numbers, or meeting online, then getting all excited about the possibilities and then have a real dud of a date that sends you home thinking you’ll never meet someone “good” ever?

It happens to all of us.

A lot.

But it’s not you – or him – or her. Really, it’s not.

It’s the bad choices we make on where to meet, when to meet and how long we’re going to meet for that toll the death knell of a potentially great first date before it even happens.

Read on for how to avoid this trap, and to greatly increase your odds of having a meeting that leads to a second one, and more.

And remember, even if someone comes at you with all the wrong suggestions – you can redirect and suggest a much better get-together that you’ll both love.

Here’s some tips on how to set up – and enjoy – that first meeting (let’s not call it a date, m’kay?) with that potentially special someone new.

It’s not a “date”.

Okay – it IS a date, but don’t call it that.

So first of all - Don’t approach this as you are “asking someone out.” If you’ve met online, or met at a club or other party and exchanged numbers, it should be assumed you are both into the idea of seeing each other in person in the near future.

So proceed as if that part is already settled.

Asking, “Would you like to go out with me?” begs the other person to ask themselves… ”Hmmm…WOULD I like to go out with them?” A real momentum killer.

Second – go for a non-“date” day and time.

Traditional dates are typically in the evening, on a Friday or Saturday.

Of course the obvious reason here is, on the chance that you don’t hit it off – here you are stuck on this long journey into the night.

I hate that stuff.

The not-so-obvious reasons you want to stray from traditional date times is that you don’t want to put a ton of pressure on either of you to have to “perform” at peak date levels.

First-dates are notoriously over-hyped and overrated before they happen, and underwhelming when they are happening. There’s a pretty high-level of expectation that simply can’t be met, no matter how good of a time you are having.

Instead, take all the pressure off of both of you.

Face it – you chatted a club, or a library, or you’ve been messaging on a dating site – the next step is to be in person together to see if you have some chemistry when you’re one-on-one socially.

A real no-pressure, low-key first meeting has the following elements:

  • Non-date day and time. For example, 6pm on a Wednesday, or noon on a Sunday. All the implications of “date night” are eliminated.
  • Public place. Like a coffee shop or a local happy hour. Quick walk in the park.
  • You both arrive separately. Nothing takes the pressure off like knowing you can get the heck out of there in your own vehicle if you need to.
  • Set a time-constraint. Like 30 minutes. If it sucks for you at this meeting – hey, you’re outta there in another 15 minutes anyway. Same goes for who you are meeting.
  • Low-to-no-cost. Depending on your venue, coffee shouldn’t cost you more than $2 bucks.

What you DON’T want to do is fall into the trap of having a lot of time and money invested in a full-evening of activity. There’s even more pressure on those paying to provide a “good time” and on those who are receiving to “have fun”.

So how do you go about setting this up?

Easy. Here’s the things you say, or suggest, when the time comes – be it over text, online, or on the phone.

“Hey, I know this great place to get coffee that’s pretty close to both of us. Meet me there Sunday if you are free and we’ll chat for half an hour and see if we like eachother…”

If your potential partner was “on the fence” before you called, this should put them at ease. I personally have had great success in at least getting my dates to agree to meet, and then to not flake.

Having a low-key agenda, for a short time, in a public place, where we each control our transportation and exit, is much more likely to generate a “yes” response, and a man/woman who shows up to meet you.

But, what if you hit it off immediately and you just want to spend more time together right now?

Then, do that.

There’s nothing that says you can’t impulsively extend your meeting, or better yet – change to another venue – while you are together.

Changing to another venue is an amazing strategy – if you will – because this becomes your first date.

For example – in this neighborhood I used to live in, there was a coffee shop across the street from a used clothing store and a block away from an antique shop.

On one particular “meet-for-coffee” Sunday morning, our 30 minutes had come and gone, and I suggested to my date that she go with me to get a new shirt at this cool shop across the street. I didn’t offer to buy her anything, and she had a good time trying some things on and suggesting stuff for me.

We went from there on a walk down the street to the antique shop, where she ended up buying a bracelet.

I was able to hold hands and get in close once or twice during this whole thing, and this escalated and fast-forwarded that entire “get to know you” phase of our relationship.

In fact, the next “date” was the proverbial “NetFlix and Chill” at her place.

Another great “tactic” is to take a few couple selfies – if for nothing else, something to do when you meet and run out of stuff to chat about.

A few pics of the two of you together – you know, to see “what kind of visually pleasing couple we would make…”

It can be fun, and allows you both to get in closer for a few moments while you are together.

It’s a great way to have a built-in excuse for a follow-up text later that night, as well, when you forward a picture or two of the two of you having such a wonderful time earlier today.

You have to admit – doesn’t this already sound better than staring at an Italian menu and wondering, “How did I get roped into this?”

When you eliminate all the extra pressure-inducing elements that people time and again seem to want to cram into a first meeting, both parties are more relaxed and can concentrate on the task at hand – where to take you to get some privacy…

If you want more great dating ideas, including getting her back to your place and more, go check out The Perfect Date Series audio package on this website.

J.D. Dallas

 

 

 


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