Alpha Male Syndrome
Read on for killer tips - Learn to be the ultimate Alpha
The dating world is a natural habitat of alpha males.
Whether they’re larger-than-life legends who run giant companies or the guy at the club who has all the women around him, these aggressive powerhouses are hardwired for achievement and eager to tackle challenges that others find intimidating.
Those alphas who are balanced human beings in full command of their strengths are esteemed by friends, revered by employers, and adored by women.
But there is this other “alpha male” who is a distinct risk and hazard to himself and others.
They inspire fear and resentment rather than trust and respect, often causing trouble instead of instigating and leading a good time.
In fact the very term “alpha male” has become a pejorative in America , which to many means simply a jerk. And it’s thanks to the many instances where men who think they are alpha create soap operas and drama.
It’s the anti-alphas – not the beta males – that are ruining your good name as a natural born leader.
Society has its place for beta males – women walk all over them all the time. But the anti-alpha not needed or wanted by anyone.
Make no mistake: the world needs alpha males. When they act appropriately, their courage, confidence, tireless energy, and fighting spirit make them natural leaders in competitive situations.
The trouble comes when they use their exceptional strengths inappropriately or carry them to such extremes that they turn into tragic flaws: their confidence becomes arrogance, their toughness becomes belligerence, and their competitiveness becomes a fight to the death in which even teammates are seen as rivals that have to be vanquished.
Unfortunately for many alpha males, what works in a jungle or on a battlefield - or during a genuine crisis - is not always appropriate socially. Leaders are expected to do more than command and control; they’re called upon to motivate, inspire, teach, communicate, and model integrity and personal growth. Such skills do not come naturally to most alpha males, and those who fail to develop them are increasingly out of place.
Over the course of my career I have coached hundreds of prominent alpha males. I have written about Alphas extensively and have made multiple lists of their assets and liabilities.
The main thrust of my consulting work - and of this article - is to help men harness the immense power of their inner-alpha males while minimizing their potential downside.
Doing that requires more than simply building on the alpha’s formidable strengths. It also means taking an unflinching look at how their assets can mutate into liabilities, with the potential to destroy careers and spread like viruses to teams, divisions, and entire social groups.
Your challenge is to optimize your enormous productive capacity while at the same time get the upper hand on your risk factors before they create problems. You need to harness your competitive drive while not turning your relationships into guerrilla warfare and friends into stage hands for a one-man show.
The first step is to understand what we call the alpha male syndrome.
The first letter of the Greek alphabet, alpha has come to denote “the first of anything.” Animal researchers use the word to signify dominance, applying it to the leader of the pack, who is first in power and importance. Among humans, an alpha is defined as “a person tending to assume a dominant role in social or professional situations, or thought to possess the qualities and confidence for leadership.”
As we use the term in our quest to become successful with women, alpha signifies a powerful, authoritative personality type with a specific set of traits.
Alphas are aggressive, results-driven achievers who insist on top performance from themselves and others. Courageous and self-confident, they are turned on by bold, innovative ideas and ambitious goals, and they pursue their objectives with tenacity and an urgent sense of mission. This includes the women in your life.
At their best, alpha males inspire awe, and their noble leadership skills are revered by others, and undeniably attractive to women.
Those positive traits constitute one half of the alpha male syndrome.
You should also be aware of the negative half – which consists of behaviors that lead to everything from minor problems to full-fledged catastrophes and personal disasters.
Dysfunctional alphas create resistance, resentment, and revenge. People admire their competence, but they hate having to deal with them or be around them.
When we’re invited to a party, for example, most of the complaints will be about alpha males who are driving people crazy.
These are those guys who demoralize their group with autocratic, abusive, or micromanaging tactics. They’re pushy, demanding, impatient, and unwilling to listen. These anit-alphas also fight to get their way even when they’re demonstrably wrong. They cause women to want to go solo rather than hook up with this type of butthead.
Most alpha males, of course, are in between those extremes, fluctuating between a terrific upside and a potentially devastating downside. My job in coaching these alphas-in-training is to help them move further to the positive end of the spectrum, and avoid the negative.
Why alpha males? What about alpha females? Even though a great many women in leadership positions possess the same fundamental traits, alpha males receive the bulk of attention for two primary reasons. First, men are more likely than women to have alpha characteristics, and the. Second, a great deal of wreckage is caused by boys behaving badly. While alphas of both sexes are aggressive, competitive, and prone to anger, the male of the species is far likely to become ruthless, intimidating, and belligerent.
This is the hard facts about alphas.
There are 3 basic sets of men when it comes to social groups and dating.
- The beta male – who is insecure, afraid, over-bearing and generally regarded as weak by women.
- The anit-alpha – who is by most measures an alpha in spirit, but uses his dominance to demean, harm and belittle others. They are generally regarded by women as “jerks” and contrary to popular belief, they won’t last long in any relationship.
- The alpha male – who is, in short, loved by men and women alike for their leadership and calm resolve. Women find this man irresistible and ultimately sexy.
It is obvious, of course, which group we want to be in. And knowing the fact that an overwhelming majority of men are beta or beta-behaving, that leaves the very small group of alphas. And in that group, and even smaller number of the true alpha.
And that’s where you want to be. It’s where you need to be get the kind of women, career and lifestyle you want and deserve.
At the end of this article are some powerful tips to clue you in on true alpha behavior.
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An Alpha Male…
Never Qualifies Himself:
Qualifying yourself means looking for approval from others - caring too much about what they think.
The alpha male makes no apologies, he doesn’t explain his behavior. He is completely comfortable in his own skin so he doesn’t need to explain anything to anybody. Alpha’s don’t boast about their success or try and prove anything – again they don’t need to; they assume you will like them simply because other people do, but they don’t care if you don’t. Don’t chase after validation, you don’t care.
Did you ever notice that when you talk to someone you look up to you will talk faster?
Talking fast is a way to qualify yourself to someone. Why? The research shows you are worried they will stop listening or find some more interesting things to do. So the conclusion betas make is to get your point out quick so they will listen. But know this – it actually has the opposite effect, and it shows your lower status.
When you talk slower - you exude confidence. And - it creates suspense…people start to hang on your every word.
Doesn’t Look Around:
An alpha is the party and the focus of attention – he is unconcerned with what other people are doing. Constantly looking around a room or club, acting squirrely and uncomfortable is beta body language. Eyes forward - horizon level. Focus in on whomever you are speaking with.
Is The Focus of Attention:
Watch an alpha male in a group. How do you know who he is? He is centrally positioned in the group, everyone’s body language faces him and is positive towards him. In your mind - expect to be the focus and position yourself to be so, step up within your group and you will start to take on this dominant role. The rest of the group will fall into place as most people are looking to be led.
Takes The Glory:
When someone tells a funny joke, and Alpha will take it one further and steal the laugh. When someone else has an idea they acknowledge it and add to it – giving their approval and tweaking the idea it becomes their own, and they get the credit for it. Also look for alphas to be the ones handing out the praise - when somebody does something cool, it’s not cool until the Alpha says, “That was cool.” But don’t over-do it. A real casual, “Yeah…that’s cool,” is enough. Because alphas…..
Is Never Impressed:
They can be self centered and unimpressed with the achievements of others. They are high achievers themselves and strive for success so they have seen it all before – it takes a lot, or a really high value to impress them – they have high standards on every level.
Enjoys a Challenge:
They enjoy making friends with beta males, but with another alpha guy they often become “enemies”. The alpha male needs to be the alpha at all times and will compete with another male for the dominant position – if he is really the alpha male he will enjoy this opportunity.
Doesn’t Answer Questions:
This is my favorite. Alphas often give a non-sensical or a basic response to questions you ask them where you are trying for conversation, trying to find common ground, or trying for rapport – by asking you to “guess” they are controlling the frame and leading the interaction and keeping their alpha male status.
“So…what do you do for a living?”
“Huh? Oh…I’m and underwear model.”
Doesn’t Care About You:
Alphas are by definition self focused. So the betas are there to entertain them. An alpha believes world evolves around him and everyone is there to help him, entertain him or sleep with him – as he chooses. Just try thinking of people, places and things this way…see if it doesn’t change your attitude, outlook and success.
Can Show A Nicer Side - and Get Away With It:
This goes back to not caring what people think. Contrary to popular belief - and alpha can be nice / genuine / down to earth if he wants to. And get this - on the occasions that he is he gets even more credit for it. Why? Because people don’t expect it but secretly hope for it. So when it happens, they are pleasantly surprised. Unlike a beta - he isn’t a geek trying to be nice for validation, he is a cool guy who has a down to earth side - sometimes.
I also call this - “throwing them a bone” once in a while.
Is Comfortable In His Own Skin:
Ultimately an alpha is comfortable within his own skin, this is one of the the main alpha male characteristics, and if you can be comfortable in your own skin then everything else will follow. An alpha doesn’t care what people think, he is assertive enough to give his own opinion, and he is happy and confident in any situation.
Hope these tips help you get thinking about the Alpha Mindset and help you better understand the ways of the Alpha Male!
Just a fraction of what is in My Alpha Training Audios:
* 10 new alpha traits you can demonstrate and use right away
* 12 advanced alpha characteristics and how to make them part of who you are
* Techniques for commanding a room full of women
* Alpha mindset - exact priorities and how to make them work for you
* What it means to have value - and how this attracts women
* Why women love an alpha in the first place - and how you use this to win them
* Get women chasing you - after all, they are already looking for alpha males
* Beta male traits you may not realize you have - and that you must avoid
* How to use the science of “mystery” to keep her hooked
* Alpha body language - it’s easier than you think
* How to set up your home/apartment to demonstrate the alpha life - and not spend a fortune
* What the most important room in your house is when it comes to women
* Alpha Tips for approaching, getting numbers and directing women
* A great assumption technique that gets you phone numbers, kisses and dates
* How the alpha male thinks about life, women, and dating
* The most important asset an alpha has - it’s something we all have, but the Alpha knows how to use it
* Exuding confidence at all times irrespective of the conditions
* Be aware of his demand, but never have to prove your superiority to those around
* Be sought and viewed as an expert to handle every situation
* Be a leader who initiates and grooms people
* Become very good company for women
* What to expect and how to handle all the attention you’ll get
* Alpha style techniques to transform your look
* How to pay attention to the right details – everything about your grooming and body
* Advanced body language techniques you need to know
* The secrets to telling whether or not she’s attracted to you – instantly
* How to decode a woman’s conversation – when she’s telling you to ask her out or kiss her
* 10 new alpha moves that have women at your mercy
* 20 little details on everything from attitude, style, and conversation
* How to handle the alpha female – without these techniques she’ll crush you
* More beta traits you need to eliminate now
* The 5 types of men women instantly are turned off to
* The one type of man they instantly can’t help but want
* Attitude builders and alpha mindset
J.D. Dallas at Modern Male has changed the way I think - for the better.
I was the classic push-over, nice guy - constantly getting into the friend zone and being totally frustrated!
It was a small change - something clicked.
As I write this, I have 3 girlfriends - and they ALL know about each other.
JD knows his stuff!Parker J.