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All right – how many guys have had a woman they really really wanted and somehow they ended up as pals with her instead?
Or you had a woman that was all over you at the beginning, but somewhere along the line it fizzled out? Raise your hand if you’ve been there. And if you’ve ever heard the words… “Let’s just be friends” or, “I’d like us to just be friends”, or even, “I don’t see you in that way…” or any variation of that crap. I know some of you have even heard it when you were trying to make your move, or worse, when you started to tell her your “feelings” for her… Ouch.
Now, with some women, you’ll want to be just friends. But know that this means – to her - strictly as her “friend”. This also means no heavy touching, kissing, or anything physically intimate.
When a woman goes into her friends speech, she’ll give you all kinds of bullcrap reasons – and don’t buy any of the common excuses when you hear them.
- “I have too much work nowadays”,
- “I need some time to think things over,”
- “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”.
- What she really means is:
- “I am no longer attracted in you”
- “I never was attracted to you”
- “You just don’t turn me on”.
And of course what that all means is, “hands off me now.” When her interest level has died, it’s hard to revive. Unless you know how. And almost every man doesn’t know how. In fact – the ones that do know how, never end up in that friends situation anyway! How do you crawl yourself out of the dreaded friend zone? The question you should really be asking yourself is, how did you get yourself there in the first place? I’m going to venture a wild guess here and say:
- You became too dependent and needy.
- She had control of the relationship because you never took it.
- Your whole schedule revolved around her,
- She was the first thing you thought of in the morning, and the last thing you thought of at night…
And…etc. It was as if you had nothing “going on for you” other than her. All of this kind of behavior turns a woman off fast. And keep in mind, if you are acting like her friend, she’ll think of you and treat you like a friend. And, of course, women don’t sleep with their friends.
- Listening to all of her problems.
- Buying her little gifts “just because”.
- Tell her all of your problems.
- Not being “physical” – i.e. no touching, hugging, kissing, etc…
- Think of it this way: If it is something her girlfriends would do with and for her, then it’s probably not something you want to be doing.
- You know, like listening to her complain about the guy she’s sleeping with.
That is agony. Torture. Men get this idea that they can convince her that he is the better choice for her by listening to this stuff….and it has nothing to do with convincing or choices. Women don’t consciously decide to be attracted to you. Or that guy they are sleeping with who doesn’t call her back. They just are – or they aren’t. And it’s your job to be the man – so she’ll instantly be attracted. And of course all the stuff you need to be the man is in my audio programs.
And my material will help keep you out of this scenario from here on out with all women.
How to Get Out of the Friend Zone
Or basically, how to get any woman back that you screwed it up with.
First and foremost – know this. If you are in a friend relationship with someone, that relationship has to die before your new one can start. You have to kill off any thoughts of you as her friend. Here are the top three steps to take, and all must be followed if you have any chance of getting this taken care of. Don’t be upset – or show her that you are upset. If you let any signs of “being hurt” show, you’re giving her the power and control – she simply knows she can control how you feel. Stay calm – be cool. Tell her right away when she says, “Let’s be friends” with all sincerity that that you’re afraid that’s “not going to happen,” because that’s not the kind of relationship you can see yourself in with her.
This is important because you need to show integrity – with yourself and with her. Unless your intention is to be friends with her – then say, no. Most guys get upset, hurt and even think, “well it’s better to have her as a friend than not at all…” And no it’s not! You’ll go completely crazy because you are lying to yourself, and her. So be honest and say, sorry, babe. Wish her the best and tell her it was great knowing her. You want her to feel a sense of loss.
All of a sudden she is denied access to you. See how this totally turns this situation around? Trust a brother on this: Women want what they can’t have.
Cut off all contact. You have to follow up your words with actions. Cut loose and go cold turkey. You have to be extreme in this case. This includes text messages, e-mailing, or any form of communication she got used to. In short, you are going to get on with your life and business. She has created this situation, you are just living by it. And taking major control back.
Meet and hang out with other women. This is not for revenge. But it will instill jealousy. Do it because as a man you always intend on meeting other quality women. Gents, there’s millions of them, and you never know who’s available until you start this process. Otherwise, you will be obsessed over your lost girl, and minutes will seem like hours, days will seem like weeks. And you will crack, and cave in.
Dating other women, having lots of female contacts on your Facebook and Myspace is going to increase your social value. By increasing your social factor, you inadvertently pump up your perceived value in her eyes. This lets her know that you are in demand, and that you can have a great time with other women. Once she realizes that she’s missing out on the fun, her interest level will naturally shoot back up.
Learn from your mistakes. Think back and evaluate how you behaved. Did the flirting dynamic start to suck or never get started? Did you become too supplicating? Uninspiring? Non-challenging? No physical interest? This type of stuff will show you how she ended up with control. It is probably a long list of little things – but they add up. Whatever it is, don’t repeat the same mistakes.
You hear me talk a lot about control – and in any attraction-based relationship it is a major factor. Consider that almost every man I’ve coached and consulted with a friend zone women or getting an ex back has inevitably come to this conclusion:
“I know I can have her now…but I really don’t want her.”
And it’s simply because after a few months of working on their attitude, getting them out there dating and changing how they see women and the world, they have control now…and when they have it, all of a sudden they realize they don’t really need this woman as much as they once thought.
In fact, I’ll go a step further – it was her control that attracted the man so much in the first place. The harder it was for him to get with her, the more he wanted to get with her. The more she pushed him away romantically, the more he wanted to be romantic with her. The more she ignored his calls, the more he wanted to get her on the phone. And so on…
And gents, really, isn’t that the way it should be with you? Don’t you want her working hard to be with you? I’m sure you do. And you’ll find, like these guys did, that when she is – you decide whether or not you want to be with her, and when.
For more on control – you have to hear over 4 hours of audio on exactly how to control not only your relationships, but yourself. It’s all contained in my instantly downloadable programs, Total Control, and Get the Attitidue - Get the WOmen
All of my audio programs are unique material – everyone of them concentrates on different areas of men’s solutions to dating and women. There are some common themes that run throughout, but all of my tips, tricks, and techniques are new. Every product is clearly titled to explain the content, and detailed descriptions as well as audio samples of each are displayed at The Modern Male Lifestyle website. None of my products are rehashed, flipped, or contain any filler-content. They are 100% original and copyrighted.
Till next time…
Live the lifestyle,