Some openers and topics. We will talk about these and why they work – they are good for different things, but mostly opening a conversation and establishing your alpha-ness.

Opinion gambit: “Hey, this will just take a second – I need a female opinion on something….(I got several good ones for you)” – this is by far the best conversation starter – there’s no pick up involved (yet) there’s a false time constraint – and the topics will interest her. Women love to give their opinion – especially about drama and relationships. Can you think of good topics before we speak tomorrow?

“You look like somebody I should meet.” (if she asks why…) “Why not? I like the way you carry yourself. Maybe I was wrong…I’m JD….”

“Excuse me just for one quick moment….you look cool – tell me, is there a tall blonde in a red blouse behind me still?” “Oh, it’s nothing – she’s sort of stalking me.”

Great topics and things to get her talking and opening up:

“So, why would I be drawn to you just now?” (if she says “I don’t know…” I have follow ups for you)

See if she believes in magic spells, or ghosts. Tell her the place you are in is haunted. A girl od’d in the ladie’s room back in the ‘20’s or whatever – she still haunts this place. Women love spirits and shit – a good way to get her talking.

When you want to know stuff about her – don’t ask. Tell. Tell her to tell you something – For example: Instead of “What’s your favorite color”? Say, “Tell me what color turns you on.” You can rephrase all questions into commands. Get her used to you telling her what to do, and her doing it. It’s subtle and subliminal, and it works. Also – see the value in saying “turns you on” rather than “favorite”? Gets sexual path going.

As always, smile big and bright, the moment you come in. Act like you own the place – seriously. Pretend you are the owner, and think how you might feel spending the evening in your club. Of course, don’t help yourself to drinks or the cash register – but walk tall, shoulders back, smile and be relaxed.

And here’s some awesome tips: There’s always that one girl there – dressed totally flashy, or really stupid hot and everyone notices her. A real Playboy bunny. Put her to good use. This technique requires you to sacrifice this woman – but it opens up the door to all the other women there, which greatly enhances your cache and chances for success. Go right up to the Playboy bunny and say, “hi.” Tell her this will just take a minute, and that you are in a pinch. You need to get a gift for a girlfriend, and you’re totally out of ideas.

This will put hotpants at ease – there is no pickup going on here – and she’ll be open to talking to you. You said it won’t take long and she knows you’re “taken”.

Now – while you are chatting her up – all the other women in the joint will see you with her. This has huge social proof value and puts you at the top of the food chain. Even if Playboy bunny has a boyfriend in the building, he won’t be threatened the minute he discovers what you are talking about – engage him if necessary and say, “what would you buy a beautiful chick like this?”

She’s probably going to ask, “Well, what does she like….?” Or something like this – so just answer, “Well, we just started dating, but she’s really special. I don’t know all of her tastes just yet.” During your conversation with her, look around the room from time to time, and smile and wave at other women. They will be looking. When you get a nice smile and wave back, that’s your next target.

You can disengage Playboy bunny by saying, “I’ve just seen a friend of mine – I’m going over to say, “hi.” Thanks – I’ll catch up with you later.” Then go say hi to your new interested hottie. Make sure you let your new hottie – your target of interest now – know the last girl was just a friend.

“Hi – I noticed you when I was talking to my friend. She said I should come meet you, and I totally agreed. “

The compounded effect now is that you’ve come in looking good, engaged and were seen with the hottest chick in the place and are now being seen with multiple women. Use the same wave and smile technique with this new girl. See if you get any other signs of interested. Play the entire room, and plant seeds all around. When moving through the crowd, slightly bump each woman you pass without saying anything, or slightly brush her hand. Keep moving. As you pass her, she will look to see who it was that was brushing by.

Having women look at you and follow you with their stare through a club has very noticeable value and puts you in alpha status. When one woman looks, every woman with her will look too. When they all look, other women will look.

If you think this is subtle – it is. But it is also very powerful. Women are very competitive and will notice this. They are looking for the in-demand guys. Without a doubt, one of the top issues men ask my advice on is approaching. Are you ready to start meeting more women? Good – let’s go.

The Rule

As a man, you do the approaching. Simple. Learn it, live it. The “stand around and hope she notices you” tactic never works. Hoping she will approach you never works. Wishing she would make it easy on you isn’t going to happen. You are a man. You approach and meet the women you want. Moving on.

The Best Pick Up Line Ever

Oh, you just can’t wait for that one, can you? Well you may or mya not know this by now – but I’ll tell you something, chuckles. We’re all still waiting on that one. You want to learn how to approach and pick up women, right? If you are like me when I “discovered” all those Famous Attraction Gurus (F.A.G.s) you were hoping I’d throw you a couple of “can’t miss” lines and a killer technique and you’d be hypnotizing women in short order.

And brothers, believe me. If I had it, I’d share it. And I’d be rich. Here’s the deal with pick up lines.

The short version is: It’s not important what you say, it’s important how you say it.

The long version is: It all comes down to confidence. Hey, that’s a big revelation, right? Just turn on the magic confidence machine and away we go. We’ll talk about getting your confidence in a bit. But for now, know this key concept: A pick up line can’t transform you into a suave confident man that gets all the women. However, a suave confident man can transform any line into one that gets all the women. Get it?

Fear

Teddy Roosevelt said that when presented with a challenge, “…The best thing you can do is take the right action. The next best thing you can do is take the wrong action. The worst thing you can do is take no action at all.”

And while he may not have been speaking about approaching women, he may as well have been. Because the overwhelming majority of approach situation failures are a result of no approach at all. Gentlemen, it’s like the lottery – you can’t win if you don’t play.

So while it is fantastic to take the right action, it’s also very beneficial to take some action. As with any skill, you need to practice and learn from your mistakes. See what works, what doesn’t, and simply get good.
The “worst thing” – taking no action – is a result of fear. Or, I contend, what most men think is fear. Fear of approaching.

Fear is an instinct and a survival emotion that is a product of eons of evolution. It manifests itself in a heightened awareness, a rush of adrenaline, focus and a fight-or-flight mentality. But fear is an instinct that is for when we are in danger.

Fear is for when our very survival is threatened. When man lived in caves and ran around with sticks and rocks for weapons, fear was a great emotional friend. Fearing a saber-toothed tiger that wants to maul you is a good thing. And fearing a woman is simply unacceptable. She’s no saber-toothed tiger, and you could probably take her if it came down to it. So there’s no danger – and fear is only for danger.

Since we no longer walk into life-threatening situations on a daily basis as our ancestors did, and we aren’t constantly looking over our shoulders for enemies, fear isn’t as prevalent in our everyday lives. And what happens is we start to interpret other emotions we are feeling as fear.

In an approach situation when you think you are afraid – what you are really experiencing is anxiety. We so rarely experience fear that it’s easy to misinterpret anxiety as fear.

There is no question that all of men I consult who experience anxiety have the same issue. “I don’t know what to say…and what if she rejects me?” We’ll talk about so-called rejection in a minute, but as far as anxiety over what not to say, it boils down to not being prepared. And half of the preparation is your mindset, while the other half is knowing what to say. I can teach you both. Did you ever go into class to take an exam, knowing you didn’t study and you weren’t prepared? Or how about a pop-quiz – totally out of the blue? Approach situations are a lot like a pop-quiz to most men.

They unpredictably come up, and men aren’t prepared to react to them. So there’s your anxiety. So far – remember this stuff:

•    As a man, you do the approaching - not negotiable
•    Confidence is the only thing that matters
•    Fearing a woman is not only silly, it’s unacceptable
•    Fear of approaching is really just anxiety
•    Anxiety in approaching comes from a lack of preparation.

The Mindset

Re-think now: Approach situations occur everywhere, everyday. While you’re jogging, at the library, in the grocery store, at a club, in line at the bank, you name it.

You most likely see a woman you want every time you set foot out of the house. If you don’t realize this and aren’t prepared, you are sunk.

Quick story: Just recently went down the park and there was a pick up basketball game forming. They needed one more guy, and I really wanted to play. But – when I left the house I wasn’t even thinking about playing basketball. I hadn’t practiced or played in a long time. I was wearing jeans, and didn’t have my basketball shoes. In short, I wasn’t prepared to play when the situation presented itself.

The same concept applies to meeting women. When you leave the house, you need to be looking good, feeling good and prepared. If you wake up and throw on sweats and flip flops and head to the grocery store, how confident and ready are you going to be when you spot that hot Milf in the frozen food aisle? Answer – not very.

Taking an extra 10 minutes to get yourself together is important – every time you leave the house. Knowing that approach situations are like that pop quiz – they can pop up anytime – is your new mindset.

Every day is an opportunity to meet new women. Knowing this and being ready will set you apart instantly from the millions of regular guys out there who aren’t going to meet women today.

Just looking and feeling good eliminates half the anxiety you might normally feel when an approach situation is at hand. You know you’re looking your best today. That’s a major confidence boost. You knew you were going to meet a woman today – and there she is. You were right, and you are on your way to being ready to pass the quiz.

The other important concept of the approaching mindset is the re-frame. You must completely re-think how you view an approach situation. Our research indicates that the typical mindset is a lot like the following:

“Whoa. She is hot. I have to have her. How can I go over and impress her?”

I see and hear this all the time. And it’s understandable. Men are visual creatures and we are conditioned to respond to looks. But you must know this about yourself. When you see a hot babe and you feel compelled to want to bang her right then and there, it’s an instinct that you have in you from hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. If you realize this, then you should realize she has done absolutely nothing to prove her worth to you.

When men react to this instinct and approach a woman under the premise of having to impress her, they have made a major mistake that sets them up for quick failure. This is what we call pre-qualifying a woman.

And the result is you are turning over major power and major control to her before you even speak to her – and it will show in everything you say and do if you feel this way.

Men do this all the time, and they are giving the woman a free-pass based solely on her looks. And brother, she’s not only used to that, she’s bored with it. Having that “gee you’re so pretty” look in your eyes will disqualify you quicker than shit. So don’t do it. Don’t give her that power. This is the situation we are talking about when we say you have to re-frame it. Re-framing it is just like with a picture on your wall – a new way of looking it.

First, when you think, “She is hot. I have to have her,” you are selling yourself short. What if you talk to her and she’s a complete bitch that you don’t want to be with? What if she’s a lesbian and not into men?

And there could be any other million reasons you may not want this woman – but you’ve already convinced yourself that you want her before you investigate. Totally wrong.

Instead – you must think differently. Sure, you will think she is hot – we’ve already covered that you probably can’t help that – but that doesn’t qualify her. So you must think, “Hmmm. She’s attractive. I wonder if I will like her?” Huge difference.

If you go into the interaction with this mindset, she has to qualify herself to you. She must impress you. And just like the wrong mindset, a proper mindset will show in everything you say and do. Your attitude is that of the buyer, not the seller, and everything you say and do is simply letting her know you aren’t impressed with her looks, and that you are evaluating her.

You can’t treat hot women like people did an airplane back in the early 1900’s – that is, stop what you’re doing, crane your neck, and act like you are so in awe of this new thing you’ve never seen before. Treat her like the airplane that flies overhead in this day and age – we hardly even notice, and we definitely don’t act like it something we don’t see everyday.

There is a second level of re-frame that should start to help you get over any confidence issues you may have when it comes to approaching women. We’ve already stated that you are biologically drawn to a woman based on her looks. You can’t help that – but you know this so it shouldn’t rule you. Hey, it’s just a biological response, like flinching when someone throws something at your head. Automatic.

But what you may not know is that the little voices inside your head that tell you that must get laid all the time – as much and as frequently as possible – are what is trying to kill you. What this voice does is push you to put way too much importance and value on one thing – some chick.  And seriously – what is this thing that she has that is valuable? Except for the very rare few virgins out there, that thing has more miles on then your grandpa’s RV.

Diving a new car off the lot does what? That’s right, immediately decreases the value. It’s now a used car. And the value of that care decreases exponentially with the amount of owner’s it’s had, and how many miles are on it.

Women are the biggest used car salesmen on the planet. And if their “goods” are that used car – hell, she’s trying to get you to buy it without even a test drive. Most likely without even seeing it!

Can you imagine walking onto a used car lot drooling over everything with a steering wheel, cash in hand, telling the salesmen you came to get a car today no matter what? Hell, of course not – that would be suicide. And hey, guess what – it’s the exact same thing with women. You can’t over-value her approval.

If you approach her with mindset that you need it to be a man and you are so impressed that she actually has one, she’s not going to f*ck you. Oh, she’ll f*ck with you, and f*ck you over, and probably have a good laugh at your expense. But no sex for you, JoJo.

So get this and get it now: Sex may be your goal, but you can survive without it (and a lot of you probably have). Your mind set has to be that of the buyer – not the seller. And after all, what is a women’s box worth, in round numbers? Fifty, sixty bucks? You can get the whole deal at a massage parlor for less than a tank of gas. So stop putting this huge value on it – because in business, he who cares less about the deal always wins the deal.

And it’s the same for approaching women.

So remember:

  • Approach situations occur all the time, everyday
  • Leaving the house prepared is imperative
  • Men are visual – you respond to her being hot
  • Don’t pre-qualify her, no free pass
  • Reframe the situation – I wonder if I will like her
  • Reframe the situation – I’m the buyer, not the seller
  • Pussy is worth what you’re willing to pay for it

That’s all for this lesson.

See you next time - and live the lifesytle,

JD

 

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