Recent Letters

Subject: Dating Younger Women


I’m a bit “older” than most of your clients, probably. The reason I bring this up, is because I love younger women. I’m hoping you can give me some tips for dating younger women. In general, some people see it as creepy. What do you think?

-Patrick, CO

JD’s Answer:

Patrick –

Creepy? No. I don’t see it as creepy. Of course, if you have this vision in your head of a “dirty old man” and a high school cheerleader - then yeah, maybe it is creepy.  Being an older man dating a younger woman is every man’s dream isn’t it? However, even though the older man dating younger women is still seen as the social norm, with examples such as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones fairly commonplace, an age gap can have its own pitfalls.

The good news is, if properly prepared, there is no reason for an age gap to be an obstacle to a long and happy relationship. In fact - as long as you are alpha - you can successfully meet and date anyone you like. But there are some specifics that go along with this notion of the “younger woman”. If you happen to meet your dream girl, her date of birth really should be the last thing on your mind.  For some men a younger partner is their ideal - but for most for others it’s just the way it works out. But know this – If you are looking to date a younger woman to enhance your standing …. it will not work.

The most important thing when embarking on a new relationship, whatever the relative ages, is to do so for the right reasons. If you are looking to date a younger woman to enhance your standing amongst your friends or colleagues, or to prove anything to anyone else, it will not work. Dating a younger woman can be perceived as a symptom of a “mid life crisis” or an attempt to recapture your youth. Your partner may be seen as seeking financial or emotional security from an older man.

Firstly, if this is not the case for you, don’t worry about other peoples perceptions. When friends and family see you treating other as equals and with respect, they will see there is a whole lot more to your relationship than a bunch of clichés. A common fear amongst a man dating a younger woman is that she will leave him for someone younger.


Guys think that a big pitfall to dating a much younger woman is that she will suddenly “notice” his age and leave him for someone younger. Well the news is, she already knows how old your are (assuming you’ve been 100% truthful of course) and she’s chosen you. Don’t try to act young or dress differently to keep her. Just be yourself - the Alpha man. After all, that’s who she fell for in the first place. The reality is a majority of hip, fit, older guys love to date women that are anywhere from 1 to 15 years younger than them. And it happens all the time. And why shouldn’t it?

This is what the younger woman gets:

  •  Older guy traits that she loves - experienced lover, stable life, etc.
  • Potential for really cool dates like weekend trips and travel
  • She’s able to have one foot in both worlds - her lifestyle and yours
  • She is excited about constantly learning and experiencing the things you love

This is what the older man gets:

  • A hot young girl that worships you
  • Sex twice a day
  • A younger woman that will want more and more of your life (be careful)
  • None of the “settle down” and serious relationship hassels

I myself am what you may call an “older” guy. Over the last 3 years I’ve dated women who range in age from 18 to 51. And you may be surprised to learn that my clients range in age from 21 to 60. In fact - some of my best students are the 35 to 45 year-old men. They seem to “get it” much quicker than my younger students, and they are able to listen, learn and be successful very quickly. I’m sure why this is - just that it is. The “fear” most men have about dating a significantly younger woman is that they can’t “keep up” with her. But the real story is - most young women can’t keep up with the mature man.

And I’m not just speaking of sex.

It’s a fact that women mature - physically and emotionally - faster than men. So except for those cougars out there who want a boy toy, you actually see younger women consistently with older men. You may find that you are actually a little frustrated or bored with her - outside of the bedroom. Make no mistake - the man is in the driver’s seat. She will look up to you and worship you as the life expert.

There is also the “alpha” nature of a mature man that attracts younger females. Compared to some of your younger counterparts - you totally have your world mastered. A woman feels that you can master her, too, if you have your shit together. And she’s very attracted to this. Not to mention the psychological nature of “daddy issues” and all that mumbo-jumbo that will work in your favor. She is also attracted to the fact that your kids are probably out of the picture - at least most of the time. They are either grown up or, at least, with their mom half the time. This is less competition for her to get your undivided attention. And don’t forget that subconsciously she feels the fact that you have produced children is an alpha trait, and speaks to your virile sexual nature.

So the main key to having success with the younger woman is to first and foremost get over the notion that it’s wierd or not okay. You must believe it is perfectly normal, natural and okay for you to date anyone you wish. Including her. Just like with an approach - if you are nervous or feel creepy, she will sense it and the deal is off.

I spoke with our good friend Maya Jordan about this subject, and she gave me some keen insight from the younger female perspective. For those of you who don’t know, Maya is the Modern Male Lifestyle’s resident female expert on sex, dating and relationships - she makes an appearance on several of our audio programs, including the Perfect Date series of training.

From experience, she says that the younger woman feels secure about the older man because she knows (or at least believes) he’s not going to screw around on her. Afterall, she’s young and hot - why would he go anywhere else? And the man feels secure that his younger woman isn’t after his money - like his ex-wife and countless older women are. Younger women tend to not look that far into the future - their clock isn’t ticking as fast as say a late-30’s woman’s is. Maya also says that it’s important for you to be age-appropriate. That is, acting and dressing your age for example. Think about it - if she wanted a young-acting, club-hopping college guy with no direction and stability, that’s who she’d be with.

  • She will be with you because you are not that guy
  • She’s bored with that guy
  • That guy doesn’t know what foreplay is

If you have listened to the Modern Male Lifestyle audio program “A Man’s Guide to Understanding Women” - you know that the number one complaint women have about men in the bedroom is that they go way too fast - and they skip foreplay almost all together.

Now, you don’t have to wear a suit all the time and act all stuffy - just play it cool and get yourself a few issues of GQ and see what the hip, mature, successful guy is wearing these days. There’s nothing more pathetic than an “old dude” trying to act younger than he is by wearing skate punk clothes and spiking his hair. When you dress age-appropriate you are embracing your maturity. You can still look cool as hell - trust me.

Maya says that if you are trying to look and act like the younger guys she’s been dating, she’ll either think you are a dork or be uninterested because she has plenty of “those” guys already. So be the alpha man that you learned about in my audio programs The Alpha Life volume one and Two, and Alpha Dating and Relationship Technique.

Now - some keys to keeping her on the hook with you:

  • First - it’s okay for you to date younger women. You must believe this.
  • Second - understand that the things about she will love are your maturity and experience that comes with your age. Don’t hide them - embrace them.
  • Third - it’s okay to dabble in “her world” - you can and should do so a little bit. But what will really get her hooked on you is what you bring to the table - so get her into your world.

After all - this is an exciting adventure for her. She is looking for something new - not the same old douchebags she’s been dating.

Some ways to cross the streams of her world and yours… Let’s take music. I love my music but I have studied and embraced hers. At the same time I can get my younger woman to start to like mine because I’m the leader and she listens to me. It’s one of a million things I am the expert on. I’ve taught myself to dance to her music at her clubs but I will teach her how to Salsa - or ballroom dance. I don’t want to pull all nighters out on the town - but once in a while I will. At the same time I ween her off the all-nighter and get her into, say surfing or riding on the back of my motorcycle. And as important as always - you should only see her once or twice a week. Not only does this allows you to rest - haha - but you know it keeps you aloof and mysterious.

I don’t come down on her like most “authority figures” –  I’m not telling her how to live (like most older men) I am entering her world willingly. Then I am able to draw her into mine. By being an older man and adapting to her lifestyle - just a little here and there - she will go nuts for you.

Dating younger women, to me, has a very limited downside if you play it like I say. And the dividends are huge! Compare this to an older woman that will be on your ass 7 days a week while costing you a fortune. But don’t try to take the younger woman completely away from her world. This will not work. You are her escape from that world - not a substitute for it. Adapting to her lifestyle, in short spurts and slowly drawing her into yours will guarantee success with the younger ladies. Your competition will be crushed. She will have no desire to date any other men. As long as you are the alpha male - you can date anyone you wish successfully. What works with women simply works with women - regardless of their age.

If you want all the women you can handle chasing you - learn the material in my audio programs:

The Alpha Life - Volume 1
The Alpha Life 2 - Alpha Details
Alpha Dating and Relationship Technique

What you learn will stay with you the rest of your life, and transform you forever.

Life is Great


Just wanted to say thanks - your tips have totally revamped my life, almost like waking up from the Matrix. Got three girls numbers yesterday. Got kissed on the cheek twice last night too with that cool tip you gave. Life is great!

Have a good one,

The Dating Attitude Ebook

Hey J.D.

I’m glad i just ordered your book, i already read 99 pages today, its filled with knowledge and i will re read this book for the rest of my life. I will support you and buy more products sooner or later. Thanks for bringing men back to ancient dominance !

-Dan M.

JD’s Answer:

Thanks Dan,

Everyone can grab a copy of  The Dating Attitude and immediately download it now. It’s more than just a “how to get chicks” manual - It’s jam-packed with exclusive content on attitude, being a man, style, approaching technique, and plenty of things to say and do during an approach.

Alpha Training


Guys look……If you’re undecided about getting one of JD’s programs or maybe you’re even doing “okay with women” get Alpha Life Vol 1 & Alpha Life Vol 2. I didn’t really have “a lot” of trouble getting women, but I thought I would take a look at JD’s stuff to tune myself up a little.  I’m definitely hooked, I have purchased every one of JD’s programs except 1 to date. I guarantee you that if you only get these 2 programs you will have results.  The price of these 2 were just a drop in the bucket compared to how much money I have wasted in the past, not to mention my time.

I have attended one of the boot camps and regularly get coached on the phone.  I would fly JD to my house but probably couldn’t afford that…So I’m doing the next best thing and so can you. My only worry now is that JD will become so busy that he won’t have time for me… lol…  but chicks texting and calling me around the clock helps take my mind off that a little… lol…

- Rob