When you are approached by someone you don’t know, what do you immediately think? I can tell you what women think – “What does he want and how long is this going to take?”

There is a great way to disarm this. Gary says, “Move in. Now.”

Don’t give her time to put up the bitch shield. Surprise attack!

For example, if I told you I was going to rob your house in two weeks, you would have plenty of time get an alarm system, a gun, buy a guard dog – you name it.

But if I just walked up and burgled your house when you weren’t expecting it, I’d be much more successful, right?

So the longer you wait, the worse it is. You not only give her time set up the burglar alarm, you allow that inner-mind bullshit to start talking you out of it.

Another great way to avoid this bitch shield is to be aware of women who are open to being approached in the first place.

When you look around the room and make eye contact with her, smile. If she holds your gaze for a second and smiles back, she’s 100 times more open to being approached than a woman who rolls her eyes at you, don’t you think?

You can get just about any woman you want, but why not make it easier on yourself? Look for her eye contact and her smile.

You, on the other hand, cannot be leering or staring.

You absolutely cannot catch eye contact and immediately look down or look away as if you’ve just been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to.

Holding her eye contact and smiling a calm, cool smile shows major confidence and power. Looking away sheepishly shows you are not the type of man she’s looking for. She’ll get frustrated quick, and turn on the burglar alarm.

Women are instinctively attracted to strong men, and acting sheepish will convey the opposite.

So don’t do it.

A lot of men habitually try to sneak looks at hot chicks, and give off the impression they are “busted” when she “catches” them. But not you, James Bond. Learn how to calmly check her out with eye contact and let her look away first.

How to do that?

A great exercise is to make eye contact and smile and say hi with everybody you pass everyday. This will recondition your response to be “continue looking and smile and say hi” rather than quickly staring down at the ground. And in the heat of battle, you will default to your conditioning.

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And let’s face it – it will make the world a much nicer place. So what’s the harm? None – and the value is immensely huge.

Now, not every woman is going to give you the green light with a smile. Some you will just want to walk up to and open. So do it, and keep in mind that thought she has, “What does he want and how long is this going to take?”

And to get rid of that, just tell her.

You could just say, “I’m going to hit on you, get your phone number, and it shouldn’t take too long.” And frankly, we’ve had great success with this direct, bold approach.

The more experienced you are and the more women you approach, the more likely you are to be comfortable with a line like that. She usually says, “Oh, really?” and I say, “Yeah. Watch me. Play along nice.”

Every once in a while you get a response like, “Thank God. I was hoping you would!”

But in a majority of situations, men aren’t at that level, and women are used to getting hit on. So if the direct approach isn’t in the cards, a sneak attack should be.

The first thing this woman, or any woman in the room, is going to notice about you is how you carry yourself. Whenever you walk into a room, club, coffee shop – whatever – you have to be in charge. Are we talking about some sort of John Wayne swagger? Eh – not really.

Just try to take up some more space than you normally would. Shoulders back. Eyes at horizon level. Move deliberately.

Don’t glance around the room, acting squirely. Move slow. Move deliberate. Hell, catch her eyes and move right over to her. Just do it.

And here you go, Joe. One of the best openers to disarm any woman’s bitch shield is a combination of you being prepared (clean, crisp, sharp), moving toward her properly (smiling, making eye contact and slowly) and saying, “Hi. My Name is _________”.

Boom. Piece of cake.

And why does this derail her?

Because you’ve just demonstrated your confidence and the fact that you don’t drool like a moron around women. You’ve just demonstrated that you can speak to a woman with confidence. And you’ve showed her you aren’t afraid of shit, especially her.

And now she knows your name, is aware of you, has heard your voice and has probably responded with – at least – “Hi, I’m (insert her annoying voice and name here).”

We love this approach.

But not every situation will call for that. Sometimes you have to go for that sneak attack. Here’s a favorite of JD’s that disarms her bitch shield pretty quick and sets you up to talk about something with her.

“Hey, you look kinda cool. This will only take a minute, because I have to run…I want a female opinion on something…”

In that one sentence you are able to answer her internal questions: What do you want? How long will it take?

In addition, you haven’t necessarily tipped your hand that you are hitting on her. You’ve indicated that you are busy, too. So far, so good. Every available woman will welcome these openers.

The follow up to the opinion opener can be anything – but some sort of relationship or drama situation is always best for a chick. Here’s a good one that will lead to plenty of “relationship” conversation in which you can easily find out shit about her, like if she’s an idiot or if she’s even single.

“Let’s say a guy just started dating this new woman. He has a box with a bunch of pictures of his old girlfriend in it, and the new girl found them and wants him to get rid of them. Is she out of line or what?”

When she says, “Well, your girlfriend shouldn’t….” be sure to drop in, “I didn’t necessarily say it was MY girlfriend.”

Keeping your body language consistent with your opener is important, too. Always be about to turn away, or leaning toward the door. But when she opens her mouth to give you her brilliant responses, subtly turn back toward her.

When she speaks, you can lean in. You will set up a situation where she is trying to engage you to keep you around, and at a minimum it’s very non-threatening. She’ll be comfortable with your body language, and you.

Another great tip to disarm defenses is to not check her out – in the wrong way. Women love to be checked out physically in the right way. The short version is: Staring at her tits is the wrong way.

A spectacularly successful move we use is the Eyes-Feet-Eyes move. It goes like this:

While she is talking, catch eye contact. Then pan your gaze all the way down her body to her feet, then back up to her eyes, and smile. It shouldn’t take you long – about 2 seconds. But she will notice – and she will love it.

Women love to be checked out in this way. That’s the right way.

The Key concepts are:


  • Move in. Now.
  • Practice making and holding eye contact.
  • Smile. Move deliberately and evenly.
  • Disarm defenses by being direct
  • Disarm defenses by sneak attact
  • Check her out with Eyes-Feet-Eyes

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