The BIG Problem With Being a “Nice Guy”
Nice Guy or Lonely Guy?
Women may say they want a best friend or a nice guy – but take a good look at who they are sleeping with. How many times have you seen a hot chick with some a-hole? How many times do you hear her complaining about the jerk she’s dating?
Sure, she complains, but she still sleeps with him.
Women Say One Thing, and Do Another.
So when looking to women for what they want in a man, you have to ignore what they say, and pay attention to what they do.
It’s not exactly their fault that they say the “wrong” things and men get misled by it. They, too, are swayed by mom, Hollywood, society, etc. into thinking they want a nice guy, too. Women love to spew out the standard mantra when asked what they’re looking for in a man. It goes something like:
I want a man who will be my best friend, and understand me…someone who is romantic and sensitive, and in touch with his feelings. …and…puke.
They don’t really want that – they just haven’t really taken the time to think about what they want. Why? Because when they find it, they know. It’s an instinct and a feeling they can’t control or explain, but they know it when they feel it. All that other mumbo jumbo is the message they’ve been told they want, so they yammer on about that stuff in their online dating profiles, etc.
Domination and the Nice Guy
When we talk about domination, we’re not referring to kinky sex and bondage toys. What I am referring to is every man’s natural ability and desire to dominate his women. And by dominate, I simply mean controlling yourself – not letting women dominate you.
How to Tell if Women Dominate You
Attitude is a multi-faceted thing. If you are looking to improve your dating life and your success with women, you’ll hear everybody teaching and preaching “use your attitude”. And that’s all well and good, if you have the proper attitude to begin with. It wouldn’t do you much good to use your attitude, if your attitude was all wrong. What is that proper attitude, anyway? How do you get women to fall in line and be there for you based simply on your attitude?
Good questions. And you’ve come to the right place.
What you’re going to learn here is all the facets of attitude that make you successful with women, and other areas of your life.
Attitude, by definition, is a position – either physical or mental. For example, an animal can assume a position for a specific purpose, as in a threatening attitude. Or you can have a mental position in regard to facts or a state of being, such as a helpful attitude, or positive attitude.
But that’s not all - as I said it’s a multi-faceted thing. Attitude is a state of readiness to facilitate response in a characteristic way to people or situations. Having an attitude is also known as being cocky, cool, or arrogant in manner – as in “That guy has a real attitude.”
All of the academic definitions of attitude are relevant to our discussion, especially that of having a position – or a point of view.
And that is the type of attitude we’ll be learning and living – a way of looking at life, women and dating in such a way that you take a strong position on it and are confident and cool in your actions and reactions to dating situations.
This will culminate in what I call the overall Alpha Attitude. The point of view of one who has mastered his own attitude toward – or way of looking at – the world of women and dating lifestyle.
And without the attitude nothing works.
So, what does that mean, exactly? What attitude? What doesn’t work?
It’s probably best put like this: you can have all the greatest pickup lines, gambits and techniques in the world – but if you don’t have the proper attitude, they are worthless. And conversely, if you have the attitude, hell – you can say and do just about anything and pull it off. And don’t worry if you don’t think you have it. You do.
It’s a natural feeling and natural state inside everyone born male unto this earth. That’s the good news. The bad news is that most men just don’t use it anymore. That’s a shame – but it will help you stand out to the women of the world once you get it back.
All you have to do is start letting it out.
What I discovered is that the proper attitude for the Modern Male Lifestyle is like a dormant volcano. It is constantly bubbling and brewing below the surface, waiting to burst forth. And most men will go their whole lives living frustrated and unhappy because they can’t let it out, or just don’t know how. But once you do, it can dramatically change the landscape of your life just as quickly and forcefully as a volcanic eruption.
Over the years men have allowed their power to be slowly, gradually stripped from them. And why? They thought it was the best way to get women of course. Men think they know what women want and try to change to what they think women want, and they raise the next generation of men to understand what they think women want. Ugh. That’s a bit confusing. They’ve been told that women want nice, supplicating, ass-kissing men to be their best friends. They’ve been told they are wrong to have sexual urges and passion toward women.
Women like your mom and your sister will tell you to “just be yourself” and Hollywood will tell you the nice, nerdy, unemployed goof-ball gets the girl. And you know what that message is? A crock.
Why? Because it’s untrue: Women aren’t attracted to weak men, period.
I literally watched yet another movie last night where at the end the fat, goofball guy with a lousy job and a wimpy, nice-guy persona was getting married to this super-hot woman he’d been “in love with” the entire flick. There were scenes where he was stumbling for what to say, and she actually helped him out! When has that ever happened to you?
She even blatantly hinted that he should call her, and when he didn’t get it she offered her number to him after he spent several minutes acting like a douche bag. When have you ever had a woman offer you her number with no effort on your part?
If anything - when you act as if you don’t know what you’re doing, women usually dismiss you and can’t wait to run away.
I can’t tell you how many fat, drunk guys I know who are really genuinely nice guys, but live their lives with this message of hope in the back of their minds that somehow, someway, a super-hot chick is going to fall for them because of their good heart and lack of gym membership and shower gel.
And not only that, they believe she’ll make it easy for them.
And going into an interaction with a woman with that attitude immediately sets up the interaction for failure. Men are not put on this earth to let the women pick them out. Men are supposed to pick out their women. And you can’t be hopeful or passive about it. She is not going to make it easy for you, and she is not going to fall for you for being a nice, goofy guy.
And the worst part is they don’t want you to know that.
Ask yourself these questions to see where you stand:
- Have you ever tried to buy a woman’s affection with gifts?
- Do you worry about saying the “wrong thing” around her?
- Are you afraid that she’ll leave you?
- Have you now or have you ever had troubled women in your life you wanted to save”?
- Do you ask her to make the decisions?
- Is there a woman who is always on your mind?
- Do you wonder if she’s thinking about you, or if she misses you?
- Do you frequently go on – and pay for - dates, but rarely get a second date?
- Do you have the overwhelming urge to call her or check up on her?
- Do women see you as a friend, but not much else?
- Have you listened to a woman complain about you or some other guy she’s dating?
- Have you ever thought that women are mean, unjust and just use men?
- Have you pretended to be friends with a woman, hoping she’ll fall for you?
- Did you ever lack the courage to ask a woman for a date?
If you are answering “yes” to any of these questions, then you are being dominated by women as a gender.
You may even have a condition known as “nice guy”.
If you feel like you are always trying to please women, get their approval or if you have lots of platonic relationships but no romantic ones, you’ve to a case of the “nice guy.”
And hey, what’s wrong with being a nice guy, right?
Nice guys are so bent on worshiping and pleasing women that they often forget about their own lives, their own desires and their own drive. And I’m not overstating it when I say they worship these women.
The women in a nice guy’s life get put so high up on a pedestal they are in danger of falling off, and often do. When a woman is worshiped like this, it puts a ton of pressure on her, and she inevitably will run from the situation.
When a woman is everything to a man, she will buckle under the responsibility. Not only will she let him down, she will leave him.
She wants a man who makes her feel secure, not infallible.
And the dirty little truth of the matter is: the nice guy really doesn’t like himself. His insecurity causes him to constantly overdo it, cling to her, come on too strong, and it ultimately drives her away.
If the nice guy really liked himself, he wouldn’t constantly try to cover up with gifts, supplication and a weak attitude. He is afraid she’ll find out “all about him”. Any woman of any degree of quality finds this kind of guy unattractive.
Now, that’s not to say there aren’t women who will use the nice guy and try to take him for everything he’s got. In fact, these low-life types of women find the nice guy very attractive. An attractive target, that is. And at the end of the day, the nice guy doesn’t dominate any type of woman.
He is dominated and ruled by them. The more you let your women dominate you, the more they will disrespect you, plain and simple.
It’s better to have her walk than to put up with her crap. There are plenty of other women out there, so don’t ever be afraid to lose a woman who is a complainer, who tries to change you or tries to dominate you. In fact, you’ll have more success and better luck with her if you do tell her to hit the bricks. She may not like it, but she’ll respect it.
So all the messages we as men get from Hollywood, from women, from Oprah, and from mommy are completely and totally bogus.
But in a way, your mommy was right when she said, “just be yourself.” What she probably meant was be a nice guy, buy the woman flowers, spend your cash on dates, don’t try to kiss her too soon….all kinds of stuff that makes mom look good and you look like a douche. What she probably didn’t mean, though, was be the man inside you.
That’s the real “yourself”.
Be the man inside you – the volcanic eruption below the surface – and you’ll start to experience the success you desire. Trust me, it’s in there. You just need to let it out.
All of the other techniques and conversation starters I give you won’t amount to much if you come from a position of weakness, hope or desperation. It’s always better to come from a position of confidence and power. She has to sense that you are unaffected if she comes, stays, leaves or whatever. I guarantee you very few or even no men in her life are this way. Most of them are all wimpy and dependent on her approval for a good time.
So to stand out like a motherf*cker, you have to use your attitude.
Attitude is not only the key to meeting and picking up women, but to keeping them. It is what makes everything else work.
If you don’t have the attitude, you don’t have sh*t.
I have taught myself and literally 1000’s of men how to unlock that inner-attitude. It took me years to figure it out - and it could take you that long too. Unless you have someone to teach you what they know and have learned over the last decade.
Honestly - most men make the transformation in a window of time from 2 to 6 months.
The ones that really absorb and use the material I teach are the ones who have the most success and have it the fastest.
You can go at your own pace - but why wait any longer?
For a limited time our life-changing audio programs full of secret techniques, attitude, and exercises have been priced so low it’s criminal.
We want you to have the information. I’m tired of seeing guys fall for the nice-guy, Beta Male crap!
My Alpha Life series has sold in the past for 100’s of dollars. Men pay large sums just to hang out and talk with me, and have me coach them.
And most of what I have to say and you have to learn is summed up in my Audio Training - for a fraction of the cost.
I’ve made all my audio training available to you for Instant Download - you will get MP3 files of hours of training with a just a few clicks and at very little expense. And you can start listening, learning, and using the material right away.
And if you need a little extra - or have questions about a special situation - you can always email me.
Check out the details of all my training on this website, and listen to audio samples, choose the ones that fit your needs and stop being the wrong kind of nice guy today.
Get the attitude now.
All the best –
Listen to Samples of My Audio Classes
J.D. Dallas at Modern Male has changed the way I think - for the better.
I was the classic push-over, nice guy - constantly getting into the friend zone and being totally frustrated!
It was a small change - something clicked.
As I write this, I have 3 girlfriends - and they ALL know about each other.
JD knows his stuff!Parker J.