Email/Letter from a Reader
Hey JD –
Yesterday I had a fun night going out - cool club, and some really nice girls.
It was the first time I was in that club, but some of my mates are there almost every week.
My guy friends know that I am pretty good with women, so they introduced me to a guy that was also supposedly very good with women.
His name is Mel.
I’m happy to report that he was no challenge for me. He had no real core confidence. And he knew that and I think he saw that I was the real shit.
You can see by the details I emailed you earlier, that this Mel guy was constantly “c*ckblocking” me all night.
Just stuff like: I headed to the dance floor and directly approached 2 girls. I introduced myself to the first one and then Mel showed up and put directly his arm around both of them – I think just to show of that he had them before or knew them.
It was really rude, but i ignored him and go on with my conversation. then he said yeah they are mine, with a real jealous/aggressive tone. I felt the aggression, but at that moment i noticed a ho tgirl behind me, so i turned around grabt her arms and started to dance with here. JUST boom, 10 seconds later i kissed with her. And yes BOOM Mr. cock-block showed up and just pulled her away from me. just real aggressive, like she had no choice. She didn’t like it and had a face expression of, him again…. But he pulled her away so I couldn’t see her anymore.
This went on the whole night.
Boom new hot girl And boom - Mr. Cock-block was again there.
So I just wandered off, like he won. I had the feeling that I was losing confidence. It took me a while to get it back, and I was still able to take a nice girl home with me at the end of the night.
I never had something like this happen before – at least so extreme. It was like I was taking his pride.
My question is, how do you deal with this kind of guy?
Yeah. I hate that guy too.
But I also feel very sorry for him. You really hit on something when you talked about his pride. Yes – you were indeed hurting it.
Apparently – this was “his” place and he was acting like many wild animals do, marking his territory.
You can probably also see how obviously Beta Male this guy is.
Classic beta behavior is always acting out of fear. Fear the he’ll lose something he has or fear that he won’t get something he wants.
Alphas, on the other hand – while they may experience this fear from time to time – don’t look at the world with this point of view.
That is – life has SO MUCH to offer, and there are SO MANY women out there that the supply will NEVER dry up. You never worry about any one woman, because there are plenty more for you. Just move on.
And no, you don’t fight this guy. Not physically, anyway.
That’s another big beta trait – getting into fights. Losing his temper. Looking like a chump.
When you fight over a woman, even if you “win” – you still lose. So don’t do it.
Whenever possible – I always let these types of guys bust on in and make an ass of themselves – and then help them along.
For example – when he comes up to two women I’m talking to, and puts his arms around them, I always “compliment” him.
“Hey…wow…You really move fast! Doesn’t he, ladies?”
And I get eye contact with my girl of choice and we have a “private moment” looking at eachother.
Sometimes you get the aggressive beta, and he’ll say something like, “Oh…are you trying to be a smartass?”
“Me? Oh…no way man. Was just talking to these pretty girls and you swooped right in and showed them who’s boss.”
I like to get some “eye rolls” in with the ladies, too. Like, “check out THIS guy.”
In general, though, the easiest way to handle any alpha-wanna-be is to be polite to him.
But you have to act disinterested by his rap/accomplishments – using your body language, for example, to show that you are looking around the room or just about to leave.
Why? Because this will drop his perceived value to the group - and cause him to qualify himself to try and raise it back up (another classic beta trait: qualifying oneself).
He can’t move to insults, because you’ve been polite. And if he does - he make himself look very bad.
So your only real tactic is to - walk away. The ultimate blow-off. And the women – if they were the least bit excited you were there, will instantly do the math and figure out that mr. wanna-be cause you to leave, and brought the evening down.
You can tell this guy that he is cool – much like I suggested above. This actually tricks him into wanting to qualify himself. He has to do something or say something cool now. And while you’re waiting for it, you can just ignore and walk away.
Trust me – it’s very powerful. There is a social value dynamic going on, and as long as you realize it, you’ll come out ok.
Know this – when you say “you’re cool”, he’s stuck, because even if he does say or do something cook, he just qualified himself to you. If he doesn’t, he’s failed to.
Another little tactic is: If the guy is insistent on out-alpha-ing you, keep going until he’s way too into it (which is what happened to you this night).
But – then let him do a bunch of condescending stuff to you – like he did, and look at the girls like you’re bored or sad. Do it in a way that says, “because he’s talking TOO MUCH he’s therefore qualifying himself to you and losing”.
Tell the ladies “he’s playing the condescension game. I already won so I stopped. Who do you guys think won, me or him?” You pretend to look kinda sad – like a puppy dog – and literally the girls will start going “awww, he’s so sweet.”
And you will have won. Because they will be crazy about you now.
Just don’t forget that there is NEVER a reason to fight some guy when it comes to women. Sure, if he hits you – you have to take care of business – but we’re not headed there in a club with enough women for everyone. And it looks like there was enough, as you left with a girl that night.
Even so – remember that part of the Alpha mindset that says, “I never fear running out of women – there are so many and life has so much to offer…”
And just head on to another club and work your magic there.
And no – he didn’t win. He lost. After all – you are still Alpha, and he is still going to wake up beta.