Why Does it Start out Strong and Then Fizzle Out?

by | Apr 12, 2015 | JDs Dating Tips |

She Lost Interest…Why?

I’m going to share with you some awesome information on how to get – and keep – that woman (or women) you desire in a relationship. In my line of business – which is helping men become alpha and get the dating life and women they want – I run into all kinds of scenarios.

Some men just want a slew of one-night-stands, others want multiple girlfriends, some want long-term relationships, some want their ex back, and others want all variety of things – some you can’t even imagine.

The focus of this newsletter is going to be on keeping a woman around as long as you want her. Whether that is a week, a year or forever – and whether it’s a woman you are already with or one you haven’t met yet, and everywhere in between.

A majority of the men I speak with and know have a consistently similar dating history. They haven’t dated many women (guys ranging from 18 to 50 yrs old) and the ones they do all follow a similar pattern: They somehow meet a woman, and it starts out pretty good, gets all hot and heavy early on, then either quickly or eventually fizzles out, and the guy is “out there” again single – and it’s a while before he dates again because he can’t seem to meet anyone.

So why this pattern?

Why does it always seem to start out great, and always end up the same? She grows disinterested, he panics and steps up his “love” and affection for her, and she seems to shut down and eventually go away? Well, the reasons are several.

The first and what should be the most obvious is that there is a problem with the man in the relationship. After all – he is the common denominator in all of his pattern-like and failed relationships. It’s not the women. It’s not that he hasn’t met “the right one”. It is that he is flawed somehow in how he handles his relationships with women. And that’s a hard thing for most men to swallow. Who among us likes to think, “I am the problem”?

The second reason this happens – The man has no idea what women actually want. He is looking for her to make him whole. And if you have no idea what this means, I will tell you. You see – women, by and large, are all the same.

Sure, there are a million little differences between them – and all people – but as a gender, what women “want” and what women respond to is universal. The men in these types of situations – these patterns of relationship failure – are all coming into the relationship looking to the woman to make them a whole man.

You know the type – guys who define themselves by whether or not they are “in a relationship.” Guys who don’t feel complete in and of themselves without a girlfriend or hostage constantly with them to make them feel good.

Women don’t want to have to do this stuff. Women don’t want to be your mommy. They want you to make them feel whole.

And the only way you can do that is to bring a whole person to the relationship in the first place. You can’t have gaps that you need her to fill in for you. She wants you to make the decisions, to make her feel good, to set the agenda and to have someone she can live vicariously through.

If she has to always decide things, tell you what to do, calm your insecurities, deal with your mood swings, reassure you, initiate sex….all of that stuff….You are not what she’s looking for.

On a primal level – I’m talking about female instincts – she has feelings she can’t even explain. This is where attraction comes from.

And it has nothing to do with how handsome you are or how much money you make. And you know that’s true – how many times have you seen a woman with some brokester, or some fat guy, and thought, “How the hell is she with him?” No, it has to do with her primal need to have a man fulfill her.

Now, the third reason these guys get into relationships that start out great and then fizzle is their unwillingness to try something different. After all – if the same guy is experiencing the same outcome by doing the same things, isn’t a change of some sort what is required? Of course it is. But what change?

Let’s start here: Think of any woman in your life you’ve been romantically involved with.

At some point in time – you had to approach her. You had to walk up and say, “Hi”. Believe it or not – this is why she initially found you attractive. What? Approaching her turned her on? Yes.

Here’s why: Women are looking for an alpha man. They want someone cool and exciting, sexy and fun. Heroic and protective. A whole list of shit that all boils down to this ideal guy she’s been dreaming about all her life. And here you come.


So far so good.

You see – at this point, you have no history with her. No bad blood, no fights, no beta male behaviors, no jealousy, no bad sex, nothing. She’s not only looking for this alpha man – she’s hoping you are him. And since you had the balls to approach (ie: go after what you want, an alpha trait) she is so far allowing that you are indeed this cool guy. You are still very mysterious – something she loves. You could be anyone.


In fact – the less you tell her about yourself, the more she’ll build you up to be way cooler than you could ever possibly be anyway.

What happens next is – in most cases – as you two get to know each other, hang out, etc., she starts to learn more about you. Early on in a relationship, there’s not many bad habits, beta traits, and other stuff to convince her you are not alpha.

So even if you were scared shit-less of approaching her and felt insecure about it, you did it. And she admires that. And you are off to a great start. Trouble is – most men don’t realize that this strong action is what initially gets her attention and men get hung up on what to say, how to “trick” her or perform for her to get her to “like you”.

That’s what most “Pick Up Artist” material and programs are about.

Giving you tons of memorized lines, gambits, and other demonstrations that supposedly gain her interest. In the man’s mind, he is “prepared” so he is more confident to approach. But in her mind – it’s the confidence to approach that she’s attracted to.

So while my dating advice undoubtedly gives you tons of great things to say and do – so you are prepared – it goes much, much deeper and works on the inner-you that must exude confidence always.

What happens when you run out of hypnosis routines, or pick up gambits, or anything else that you are using to meet women? The answer is, the real you starts to come out. And the longer you are with a woman, the more she gets to see the real you And she’s starts to look at her initial impression of you as this cool, alpha, mysterious and confident guy.

She has an unconscious checklist in her mind – every time you come off as needy, insecure or beta in general, your report card starts to get these internal, subconscious grades in her head. And eventually, she discovers that she has a beta on her hands, not an alpha.

And that’s when it starts to fizzle, and die. You’ve seen it before. It starts out all hot and heavy – then she loses interest. She starts sleeping way over on the other side of the bed. She stays out late, she’s distant. She’s gone. What the hell?

It’s simple – her instincts have been nagging at her, telling her you aren’t the type of man that can make her whole. And she leaves.

This is why it’s paramount for you to always be the alpha male. Always be the guy that initially attracted her. You can’t come into a relationship “acting” like one guy, and then change the game and expect her to still be attracted.

Keep in mind – whatever initially attracted her is always going to attract her. Who she thinks and feels you are always has to be consistent. Some men don’t even get past the initial date because they quickly demonstrate all kinds of beta behaviors from the moment they pick her up. By the end of the date, she already has your score card filled out.

I know I can help you meet more women. I do this every day, all the time, with 100’s of guys. But the real magic happens for you when you get totally immersed in my dating training and material, and simply become and alpha male.

Once that happens, you never have to worry about being “on” all the time – you simply are “on” all the time.

And I say this all time: Women pursue the Alpha. Not the other way around. Why is that?

Remember – it’s what they are looking for. They can’t help it. Are you doing things the wrong way? Are you exhibiting alpha or beta behavior? In my Alpha Life Audio Training, I lay it out for you: I list the top beta behaviors men exhibit, as well as the alpha ones you need to exhibit. If anything, you need to know the beta behaviors to avoid. Once you stop doing them, you’ll already be way ahead of the game.

The world is full of beta males – and women can tell the difference. In the way you look, act, walk, talk…everything. Alpha is in the details. And you only need a few details to start standing out now like mofo.

Consider the fact that an overwhelming majority of men are beta – of course you will stick out. Instantly. If you want to get and keep women – as long as you like, as many as you like – you need to work on you.

Listening to my audio programs: The Alpha Life Volume One and the Alpha Life Volume Two is the best, easiest and most-effective way to begin your transformation. I guarantee you will think about women and dating differently – and that you will start the transformation.

All of my audio programs and training have tons of great lines, techniques, and all that jazz – but the way I hammer them home is explaining how and why they work, and how to make them a part of who you are.

It all starts with willingness. Then attitude. Then change.

You have to be willing to try something new if you aren’t getting the dating results you want. It’s that simple. It’s just like getting the nerve up to go approach her. It’s an alpha move to take action and go after what you want.

All the best –

Live the lifestyle,